im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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