there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
