My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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