Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
