508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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