Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
