my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
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Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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