Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I died a long time ago.

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  (203): I think I died a long time ago. http://tfl.nu/eygn
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (735)
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  (510): View more from California

  one might say we're banned from that church

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  (510): one might say we're banned from that church http://tfl.nu/l4dz
  Replies (5) Good night (3908) Bad night (697)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower

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  (513): it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower http://tfl.nu/mfse
  Replies (11) Good night (4082) Bad night (732)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy

  (734): View more from Michigan

  what about the blowjobs for adderall?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  no those are still okay

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  (810): so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy (734): what about the blowjobs for adderall? (810): no those are still okay http://tfl.nu/913b
  Replies (12) Good night (4089) Bad night (630)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  thats the international knock for joint time

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  (423): you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell (901): thats the international knock for joint time http://tfl.nu/xbry
  Replies (7) Good night (4150) Bad night (869)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.

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  (330): All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold. http://tfl.nu/zmz2
  Replies (16) Good night (3544) Bad night (1241)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.

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  (813): The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth. http://tfl.nu/4ea8
  Replies (5) Good night (1989) Bad night (1194)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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  (704): I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all. http://tfl.nu/3ryw
  Replies (3) Good night (1025) Bad night (1709)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

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  (903): We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer? http://tfl.nu/09oa
  Replies (2) Good night (1341) Bad night (598)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..

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  (772): I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all.. http://tfl.nu/gmlb
  Replies (9) Good night (699) Bad night (1765)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.

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  (920): Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be. http://tfl.nu/nyya
  Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (594)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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  (508): All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears. http://tfl.nu/qmop
  Replies (15) Good night (607) Bad night (1195)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.

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  (480): And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold. http://tfl.nu/2ktu
  Replies (5) Good night (203) Bad night (495)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.

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  (914): Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants. http://tfl.nu/muni
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (188)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy

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  (978): I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy http://tfl.nu/46h5
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (157)

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