Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.