Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out