Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was