Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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