I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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