carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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