dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
