So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if only i could text you this smell
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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