i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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