you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
