how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize