Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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