"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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