3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
