sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
