i just google imaged poop.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
