i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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