He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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