Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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