I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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