I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
