If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
