They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Congratulations! We have a period
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