And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
