you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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