I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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