I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
