seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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