I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize