Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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