He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
pop tarts are not kleenex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Shame - the story of my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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