I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
