I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
