I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize