is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize