I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
