My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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