youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
