when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?