I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home