shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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