Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
