youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
