If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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