It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
