To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
