The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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