Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
