the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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