I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
