I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want nice things and good sex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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